i got bored, new site equals what kept me busy

When_beauty_died

yeah, okay

okay, so every boy or man who isn't a part of of the "telford crew" needs to DIE.  can you believe that i am actually crying over John?  yes, i have tears rolling down my face over some shithead who lied straight to my face, then got busted eight and a half hours later by Margie.  he told me yesterday that he had to leave work early because he didn't feel well, and i actually felt sorry for him.  then i find out, well, here is how it went............ Margie needed a ride home from work, so John and I gave her one.  so she asks him...  "so how was your night with Kate last night?  she told me that she didn't leave until 2 in the afternnon."  <--margie .  so John turns around and looks at me and was like, "uhhh, yeah."   see, earlier that day when he picked me up, i asked him how he was feeling now since he left early and shit.  he told me that he went home and crashed and then he woke up and came and got me.  LIES, ALL LIES!  what the fuck?!  can i EVER just like a NORMAL FUCKING MALE?!?!?!?! am i THAT bad of a chick that i can find NO ONE who i can like?  so anyways, margie turns around and is like, "oh.  shit."  then she proceeds to apologize to me, like she did anything wrong.  i tell her why is she apologizing, because she busted John?  she says yes.  this is when i decide i want to kill her too.  i hate everyone at WaWa.  they are all shitheads. 

so now, i am sitting here, crying.  over a guy.  over JOHN!  what the fuck is my problem?                                     DIE.     JOHN.      DIE.    

EDIT :  later the next day, but still a part of this entry of hatred.....

okay, its now tuesday.  this is good, because now i have off for FOUR days in a row, after i work today that is.  this means that i don't have to see him for FOUR WHOLE DAYS!  i vented so much last night, but i still feel very stupid.  oh well, he will get it, i know it.  Ha!  I am always victorious in the end.  i feel so much better writing this, is it bad that i ENJOY being an evil bitch? 

 *smoochies*

Currently Playing Good News For People Who Love Bad News By Modest Mouse see related

So, i wrote a post, but then decided that it was all bullshit, so i am writing this one.  it is more acurate. 

I had work today.  Big fucking surprise there.  I have work tomarrow and the next day, then I am off for four days straight.  That needs to be fixed.  I am going to talk to Dennis about that, because there is no way that I can live off of that.  Besides, I like work.  And if I have a ride to work, what is the point of me not working forty hours a week.  I have been working like mad, and now all of a sudden he decides to cut my hours again?  Ummmmm, how about..... NO! 

So John went home early tonight, which I guess started out my problems.  Anymore, I get very little time with him, which sucks major ass.  And since we are always working together, Dennis has us doing seperate shit so that we don't "distract" each other.  What the hell, he is the manager and I am the empolyee.  Why would we distract each other?  Okay, I am full of shit, but still, it sucks major ass.  I miss working straight with him and having someone to talk to that I actually enjoy talking too.  Know what I mean?  So now we only have our breaks together, and we spend them smoking up anyways, so its not like we talk all that much. 

Anyways, back to Leigh's bitch session which I orginally started on.  John left work early and asked Andrew to take me home.  He said that was fine, plus we were going to smoke up on the way home, which would have made me quite happy because I had a VERY stressful day and was looking forward to it.  So, since this is what would have makde Leigh happy, it didn't happen.  Big surprise there.

Nareem, Kate, and Margie show up at the end of our shift and they are like, "Andrew, lets go and get drunk."  Well , he is 16 so this equals free booze for him.  Shit, i would have gone to if i was him, but i would have sure as hell dropped off the person who i said i would have at their house before i went out.  Manners, you know?  well, yeah, apparently he DIDN'T.  so i didn't get to get stoned right after work.  i was now even more mad, and he honestly exspected me not to be.  " Oh sorry Leigh.  I am blowing you off so I can go and get drunk, but please don't get mad at me."  <----- yeah, okay there buddie.. How about you die?  Yeah, i would like that.

So steve gives me a ride home, and i stopped and got Mandie because i really wanted to see her.  I drve her backt othe house with me, and shaun lets her in.  how nice of him.  i know that he only did it because he knew that i wanted to hang out with her, so thank you dear.  i really appreciated it.  so i finally got to smoke, which made me happy.  well, not HAPPY per say, just mellow.  Noy so uptight and bitchy, know what i mean?  * i sure ask that alot, so do any of you know what i mean?  I doubt it.*  anyways, so then we come down here, and he plays on the computer and i write the said entry that i erased.  no reasont to post shit that really isn't true.  Right?

So Mandie and I leave for a little bit and we go to Jesse's.  Covert was there.  Yeah, fun times.  NOT!  Mandie keeps asking me what is my problem, so i tell her.  i just wanna go home and go to sleep.  i actually have responciblitlies, and i hate feeling bad that i can't stay out all night long.  what the hell, i need to be in one piece to work tomarrow.  Plus, if John decided not to go  to work then i am really fucked.  because then Leigh has no ride home.  i can take the bus there, but i will have no ride home because i get done at 11 PM and the bus sure as fuck don't run that late.  i serious doubt that mykie would be nice enough to come and get me, so everyone pray that i have a ride. 

well, i think that i am going to go and watch television for a bit then go to sleep.  it is 3:15 in the morning, and i do wanna go and get my hair all fixed up tomarrow.  my goal at least.  I will get to see Jeremey tomarrow for a little bit, which will be nice.  Well, that is all.  I think that I am now finished with my book.  God help all of you who actually read this whole thing.  I am the MOST boring person in the world that I know. 

Good night Everyone....... I love most of you.  and you know who you are!

okay, so i just like woke up an hour ago after sleeping for like 11 hours......  i'm not lazy i swear, i have been working some obseen hours this week, like 13 hours yesterday and almost 11 today.  i need a break, my body is already falling apart, this isn't helping.  things have been going better for me i guess.  i'm still at shauns, saving up money and shit.  i want to be outta here soon, i feel like i am overstaying my welcome.  but until i have enough money, i can't just leave.  plus, i will miss shaun.  things are weird anymore, sometimes he gets on my nerves about stupid little shit, but i miss him and shit when i am at work and everything.  i love that kid to death.  * you know that right shaun?  i don't mean to be so fucking bitchy all the time......*  anyways, i hung out with Tj and Eli all day on Friday.  it was pretty nice.  we went down to the mall and then over to the deli.  i called you  Jesica, where were you?  then we went back to shauns.  well, me and Tj at least.  hung out for alittle bit, then Teej had to go home, so me and shauny hung out.  then Elijah came over.  just seeing the two of them talking made me very happy.  i just wish the crew was how it used to be, when everyone loved each other.  and what the fuck, tommy my stud muffy needs to get the hell up here to pennsylvania.  just a thought.  well, john will be here in like five minutes, so i should prolly go and get dressed.  love to all, enjoy your day.   

***************     JUST A THOUGHT *********************

looking at the picture from my xanga site, i see many a happy people.  i wish i was always that happy.  things always go somuch better when you are happy i have decided.  i guess i am happy right now, thats good.

Currently Playing International Superhits! By Green Day see related

- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - -

IS THREE ENTRIES IN ONE DAY BAD? 

who the fuck cares.  i hate people, no, i hate HIM.  he has put me through hell ,and yet i still care sometimes, and well, i need John right now.  not HIM but John, because i LIKE john and he is nice and , and, i wanna cry.  this fucking sucks major ass.

why the hell do you still have feelings for people when they treat you like shit, and they ignore you and shit.  because you know that the person they are with now is NO GOOD FOR THEM, because you know how they operate.  how they deal with shit.  you have to learn that kind of stuff, and you don't spend all your time and energy doing that, and then to lose them? no, you lost them because they were just downright mean and wrong to you.  you lost them because it was your choice, as it is always, because god forbid you have a guy break up with you.  you tell them they should die, and at the time you mean it, and then when they find that other person , you want to kill her or him.  repeat, KILL HER or him.  you want to make them see that they are not the right person for the one who you still care about, even if you didn't love them, yet.  because it takes a very long time to love a person, or to see that person as someone who you want to, well.  i am very mad right now if you can't tell.  i need some drugs, like sleep.  sleep is a good drug.  it calms me down, but right now sleep is out of the question. 

anyways, so my day was okay. i miss my John.  i haven't seen him in like two days, and last time i saw him he was all weird to me and shit.  it was because i had on girly clothes.  all of the borthers except for micah said i didn't look like " Leigh ".  god only knows what Leigh looks like.  i thought that i looked kinda nice.  i had on a cute little shirt, not slutty, but "cute".  and i had on pants that actually fit, girly pants i guess.  shaun said i looked weird, tj said i didn't look like me, mykie said i looked bad and "not like yourself".  what the fuck, i just want some guy to like me and when most girls dress like that guys like them....... so why can't work like that with me?  because i am "leigh" the girl who is one of the guys.....  well, what if i wanna be one of the girls?!   is that allowed?  i hope so.......

i have way to much on my mind............  should i keep going?  well, why stop at this point, since i am sure people stopped reading this along time ago, shit!  i would have.......

i miss my mommy.  i miss how she and i and my daddy would play monopoly when we lived up in Archbald.  i miss how she and i would go for walks and shit almost everyday, and we would pick all of the wildflowers and Cherry (that would be my dog, who is dead  r.i.p. ) and fill our really tiny house with them all and it would smell so fresh.  it was great.  those are the times i miss with my family.  and like, i have this cousin who is my best friend, Jessica.  one time we roasted marshmellows, the tiny ones, over a candle in her room. it was soooooo much fun.  jessica and i used to do all these krazy things, back when my life made sense. 

******  okay, so this was posted, but now i have more.  ******************

why do i live here?  i live with a complete moron.  i live with  boy, who is swatting me with a flyswatter, along with his dogs and his BARE ASS!  GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  but what about the syrup, i like it lovey..........  i like it ALOT!!!!!! 

* insert convo HERE *

secondStarLight: he is taking the syrup, the fly shitt, and a lighter, OH GOD!
morgansm1448: Lol
secondStarLight: he has the hairspray and a lighter, jesus christ
morgansm1448: Lol
secondStarLight: and a butcher knife jesus christ
morgansm1448: Lol
morgansm1448: Kick him in the balls he'll drop it all
secondStarLight: morgan.... thats effed up.... im never ever going to talk to you again, im never goin to hang with you again, and ur not one of my good friends anymore.... kick him in the balls.... well see about that tell her to attack me, not only do i have weapons, but im bigger and badder...... ur next
secondStarLight: that was DEFFINITLY SHAUN
secondStarLight: now he has the hedge cutters too, help me
secondStarLight: i'm a dead woman!
morgansm1448: Lol
morgansm1448: Umm... run
secondStarLight: now he has the staple gun, god help me!
morgansm1448: Lol

well, i think that i will end this.  i am now afraid for my life.  he is so scary..........  i hate him!  my brother is a TERRORIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!